PasteurizedIlk.com: Italy, part two: Siena and Florence

Italy, part two: Siena and Florence

12/13/07 to Blog by Alex

Not that anyone's reading this anyway, because reading about other people's vacations is fuckin' boring. But I like writing so here we go again. Talking to myself. Whatever. There are still more pictures available on Flickr.

By the way, if you are a religious person, be warned that I don't take religion very seriously and will be making fun of you. It's not that I'm trying to make you feel bad - it's just that you religious people are so weird.

Day 4: SIENA
This is the smallest town we visited...it's sortof a typical college town. We had a spectacular view of the countryside from our hotel room. We blew about €120 on our fanciest meal there too, at some joint in an old Etruscan tomb, and wild boar with blueberry sauce is better then you could ever imagine. I will never forget that wild boar with blueberry sauce. One of the top five best things I've ever eaten, not that I'm actually maintaining that list or anything but it would be fun to do that sometime. I love top five lists.

• Also in Siena: St. Catherine's decaying head. Religious people are really fuckin' macabre sometimes. Here's a list of the dead things we saw in Italy:

not kidding.

the most attractive picture ever of my wife

Rubbin' the pig.

Days 5 - 6: FLORENCE
Florence was the town that reminded us the most of Boston. Felt like a similar size. It was wonderful and I wish we'd had more time there.

• I don't think I really got sculpture until now. But looking at the Rape of the Sabines, and Michelangelo's David and Prisoners and Moses...I know I'm gonna sound like a pussy, but some of that shit is really pretty cool. I spent like a half hour staring at David. I always thought people who just stand there staring at art were chumps, and I still think they usually are, but sometimes it's worth it.

• There's a pig! You rub the pig for luck and to ensure your return to Florence. We rubbed the pig. Man, that pig is fuckin' ugly. I don't know why, but I really liked it...the pig was one of my favorite things in Italy.

• Florence is also famous for its gelato, which is just a fancy name for ice cream, and it really is worlds above anything I've eaten here. Just a whole different animal. Our favorite: Kiwi fruit. Kiwi fruit gelato is fuckin' badass.

Or you can eat Bowl O' Meat!

• That reminds me, you know what else is totally different? Homemade Italian pasta. Comparing that to the pasta I'm used to here is like comparing a really good steak to the steak from your fajitas. Barely even the same animal. I gotta learn how to make pasta. We even have this fancy mixing machine that you can apparently get a pasta-making attachment for. Don't let me forget to do that.

• People warned us that Italy would be crazy expensive because the dollar is so weak over there, but here are some ways to make it less expensive:
- Wine, in general, is much cheaper there. You can get a whole carafe for €5, about the same as one glass here.
- Italians do an appetizer (antipasta) course, then a prima piatta (pasta course), then a secondo piatta (wild boar!). But they usually don't mind if you just get the pasta dish, and that's usually €6 - 8, which is totally not that expensive. (€1 is worth about $1.50 US, so we're talking $9-12 here - perfectly affordable, at least by Boston standards.)
- Breakfast is almost always included in your hotel, and lunch can be a sandwich or a slice of pizza to go for like €2.50.
So it really doesn't have to be all that bad, as long as you're paying attention.

I thought the whole point of David was that he was small.

Here's another list:

TOP FIVE REASONS OLD PEOPLE SHOULD STAY IN FLORIDA
5) You believe you are entitled to things because you are old. Being old doesn't make you entitled; it makes you feeble.
4) You have completely given up on speaking foreign languages.
3) In fact, you dislike unfamiliar things in general, which leads me to wonder why the fuck you are here.
2) You stop suddenly in the middle of sidewalks, and in doorways that lead to things, to look confused.
1) You don't understand things, so you stand in front of them peering owlishly at them from all angles and calling your spouse over to look at it. It's a juice machine, motherfucker! Press the button!

Yeah, that's right. Press the button. Press it. Now rub the pig. RUB THE PIG. RUB IT HARDER. YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG.